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Wednesday, April 25, 2012

NaPoWriMo 2/30 The Healing


It started with a cough....
like most cases of sickness that burn through brown skins from within.
The copper tone of bullet chills and Cat claw rakes my throat with soreness,
makes swallowing harder then an olympic record to beat.
Bitter sweet really I have to choke on.

Losing my ability to speak on some level was comforting.
Having everyone and they mama getting at me trying to force a response...
My waiter voice just couldn't serve their demanding restaurant conversation.
The retching left a unholy salty taste in my mouth that seemed all to familiar.
Like being struck by lighting twice in the same spot.
stomach boiling the unsanitary notions of health deferred with no turning back.

My head, chest, arms and legs felt branded with an iron on the wrong fabric setting.
So hot yet cold as winter snow.
And the beat goes on....
of an unsteady heart rhythm
this is not normal.
No, this is not normal.
Was it something I ate, drink, or hand I shook.
A surface I touched germ solicited mind going on and on like the babbling Brook on riddlin.

Forgot to follow these guidelines of health.
So now could I be paying the ultimate price...?
I think Thrice bout the things I could've done different in my life.
But still with no regrets.
What woman I didn't treat right enough or birthdays I forgot
This is a shot of reality given by Dr. Life.
The bill will be the death certificate and receipt my toe tag.
But maybe its paronoia exaggeration on my part.

I mean it wounsld suck unwashed monkey balls to go this way.
The healing I'm looking for could come before I know it
Heard in passing convo my mom saying a stomach virus going around.
So simple home remedies could do the trick...
Then I started getting dizzy on the way to the bathroom with a crick in my walk.
Managed to shut the door and b4 I knew it...
more than have of what was consumed during the day was on the floor. smh.
And that was the first round.
After I sat down for a minute,
My gut and my head where in a fight to the finish.

No, did not consume any alcohol in the past 72 hrs.
Just felt an urgency to find the answer to this case in the current 24, Jack Bour.
Always felt like Wolverine from the X-men growing up.
Whether a minor or major injury, the Healing would be almost instant.
Though when it came to my heart, that factor was resistant.
I find it intriguing that some sudden ailments and illness would reveal all this.

Found myself somehow being able to write this monologue of mental misery.
Physically broken down temporarily but never fully broken
Considering my health plight one of God's tough love tokens to become stronger on this ride.
While residing in staggering thoughts of love, live, struggle, strife...

The Healing only comes when you decide to make it come..for you.
Without hesitation...
The precipitation of content will rain down on me like SWV.
soaking into the future I'll determine.
Hit ya in ya chest like a shot of burbon, wit no ice.
Then the truth shines
Say to yourself, "Vicotry will be mine!"
Just know that an iodine of words and actions can heal all wounds...from the right person.




Abraham "Honest Abe" Benjamin
© 2012

Sunday, April 8, 2012

NaPoWriMo 1~30- 4 Bidden Fruits

I'm off my rocker....
after having wet day dreams of how I ROCKED her...world.
Until I can make that a reality to behold, my hand with out hers.
My side with out her, my bed with out her...essence to make it whole...just feels cold.
She, makes me feel wanted.
She, and those giving ways from far away has me taunted.
She, is so tempted to be mine and I vis versa.
She, if given the chance would be ready to run the gauntlet of love with I....

This woman,
with heart on a cautious pedestal...only for who is deserving.
This woman,
illuminating Oshun chakra shots to my soul's 3rd eye...
...forcing it to cry lava tears of phoenix humility and humbleness.
This Woman,
who has left chain letter-choker melodies of memories impossible for me to abandon on writer's block...
doesn't understand or realize shadow emotions are hard to shake over time!

You....a summary of this man's anthology greatest love of all deserving of a Goddess possessed within you.
You, the redefinition of imperfectly perfect
with hairless mounds between thighs
my lips need to engulf,
tasting strawberry chocolate bliss from the heavens to get lifted on....
You, the 1 of a kind, tantric arrow cupid ever made...
I've been waiting seemingly centuries for his ass to finally
target my damn chest;
So "My better half" can slip from these lips like tongues malesting nipples passionately.

The words "Sane" and "Pain" are one in the same when it comes to her.
With feelings inside
that trend more than Nicki Minaj's ass injections on twitter.
For some years now,
a Rapture of poetic symphonies laid dorment beautifully plaguing the ready to cross line
of air and opportunity...
in the back my mind a foundation
in her slave to love and happiness heart plantation needs residing with mine...ASAP.

So how can the gesture of pleasure be denied/ignored
when she not so subtly plants a bed of interest
in the garden under my nose to get a whif of what potential smells like..?
Tells me, my uniqueness and comforting characteristics
touched that torchured male terrorized faith in true love...
...and good men,
is slowly regaining justified hope to exist;
She also happens to be aware of
some overlining intrigue of pursuite from my direction as well.

This woman...Like B McKnight said, "My pride always gets in the way.."
I should have begged you to stay.
Flipped the script on me, playing role of Donell Jones in his song, "Where I wanna be".
Left me to see...what good could come from self focus, and notice like a chocolate Lotus flower grow to a desired peak.
Meek woman,
with soul stirring factor to make a man like mine's aura need crutches from our first encounter...
Since I know the energy exuding would be so fucking crippling and indulge in every second of it.

There has always been an age old adage that suggests
the combination of lover and friend,
usually form relationships with endurance of longevity...
You are the type of woman to make that sound like an understatement.
Just survey any man with pulse you give mental and physical hard-ons to try to prove me wrong.
I'm no angel by far,(and neither are you)
which is why you possess the thoughts to bring the Scorpio devil out of me.;)
Though I guess I can blame fate, for the question in my head of
why the current state of "WE" isn't in a future yet to see...?


Now, at this point...I'm confused.
Bruised beyond the fact of,
why God would give me such a proximity mine residing below my rib cage...?
Just like my mother birthing my vessel of flesh, didn't ask for this damn it!
Its suppose to be me and one other designed to have as lover, confidant, under covers, never put no one above her.
It's suppose to be when a brotha gives with reciprocal tendancies,
when she does in kind, Karmic complexities and complications shouldn't return!
It wasn't suppose to be This woman,
in this mortal komabat game of love...
Scorpion spearing my being magnetic pulling me to "COME HERE!!"
To get caught up in a relm of content that won't leave me alone to this day...
It wasn't suppose to be this bandit from BK,
taking a risk to open chambers to you,
unlock thoughts to you, make room 4u....
and still feel as lost on my road 2 redemption with contents under pressure...
I was born with...of empathy and genorocity that has become
a curse and a blessing like this gift of verse;
burdened...

What form of unholy pain in a pastlife of desired joy was caused for myself
wanting to taste these 4 Bidden Fruits laying on my chest's plate...?
Was Lauren Hill right when saying, "It could all be so simple...but you'd rather make it hard."?
And feels like it applies so well to this scenario.
Heart feeling like a greedy fat kid hoe,
With no dough to buy its freedom from such a love pimp situation
anguish mixed in the frustration, have no right to complain and
find some way to stay true.....

TO BE CONTINUED....



Copyright Abraham "Honest Abe" Benjamin 2012
All rights reserved