I Remember When... (Mama Nostalgia)

I Remember when...
I was barely 4.
And mama was on the phone a lot
by the window sill
with me playing on
the living room floor;
her talking to neighbors,
my aunties and uncles
bout daily rigormarole/gossip...
how daddy shoulda been around more
and when he went out in the morn
for groceries, not coming in till
ten at night
when the store was just around the corner... :-<

5 Years later...

I remember when...
I was about 9.
Used to take the bus with mama.
Running errands and visiting family friends around town;
while riding,
her with knitting needle and yawn...
when it came to crocheting...
no one could put it down better!!

3 Years later...

I remember when...
I was bout 12.
While playing B-ball with a friend after school
one afternoon in Jr. High,
outside on the court till it got dark.
Wasn't till he went home
I realized my 1/2 fair bus pass...
didn't have the other half for the bus.
So it got colder.
So cold, had to call mama
to come get me because
the piss was being frozen out of me.

1 Year later...

I remember when...
at 13 y/o, there was a time I wouldn't eat much.
Had a reverse tape worm appetite,
ribs were elbowing my stomach in a hunger fit...
But you knew what was to come from this neglect.
Side effect, I could barely walk around.
You brought me to the nearest ER
to get treated for severe dehydration...
giving me a wake up call just couldn't ignore;
And lesson learned, you saved me.

As I contined to grow,
older and wiser,
so did you.
Heeded your iodine advice and peroxide warnings;
preventing mental and emotional wounds you saw coming miles away.
Got my GED off the strength you believed in me
to be a better man in the making.

My point, for going down this lane of unlocked memories...
is to give thanks and show, no,
scrape the iceberg of cold winter nights(No HEAT),
sleeping on couch cushions as pillows, only peanut butter and jelly,
a loaf of bread to eat,
broke fridge but never let me go hungry love in return!

This piece is the peace in my heart!
With your caribbean blood in my veins keeping it pumping.
The footprints of your legacy in the flesh
that will carry this mama nostalgia to your future decendants;
Discipline them with the aura of your tongue!
I shall never forget, the times you've still say,
"Life ain't a bell of roses"
I understand that better now a days as a man.
Because if it was...
You would be the Mother nature of all gardens,
to learn, grow from...
THIS society needs!

© ”Honest Abe” Abraham Benjamin (Copyright 2012)

Rebirth, Reevaluation &Responsibility

As many may know by now I recently celebrated my 26th yr. of existence this past Tuesday,on Oct.27th. Now 4 yrs closer to not being considered a "Youth" anymore. So through the past couple of days I've felt the love and rejoice of me reaching the milestone of being one more young black man to live past 25. This to me is a gift & a blessing.

Me @ home after a night out at Soule restaurant in BK on my B-day


me & Tuan X(banger singer/poet)@ Soule Restaurant in BK on B-day



me & Fesah Rollins(MC) also @ Soule Restaurant on B-day





I've been pondering the past few days bout the direction my life is heading. Do I continue to take this passion I have for the art of spoken word on a professional level like so many have asked...or do I the unconscious decision to keep it as a side thing to pursue other avenues...? I guess in a way without realizing it, after 3 yrs now of traveling the tristate area and such, in a way I have. But while pursuing this God given gift to make it everything that it could and should be in my eyes...I can't ignore and be blinded to the fact that I have other responsibilities that call my attention.

Lord knows I'm one of many that have bills to pay. And a responsibility to myself and family to finish college. I've come too far, too long and going through enough sleepless nights and struggle, as well as my parents, not get a degree. And unfortunately in society, in todays society period, your not qualified to get through any barriers or considered "intelligent" if you don't have a college degree in something. Though I do plan to and will earn one or two, a college degree doesn't define me. I understand its a social basic tool of survival. Especially in todays recession plagued nation.


Due to the nudge of some of the Lords soldiers allowing me to discover one of my purposes of deliver his life saving "WORDS" in the form of poetry & prose. However, feel there is more I have yet to discover and embrace as far as gifts are concerned. As of what...I'm gone need a sign to make that clear. I'm still one of Gods greatest works of poetry thats not ready to put end to with a period. Like I've mentioned many times before, I'm on a road to redemption. So until I finally hit that cross roads leading to my final destination and divine purpose...I'm gone keep it moving as the spoken soldier in me has done.