It may kinda surprise some people who haven't know me before I ended up knee deep in this poetry thing...but I wasn't the most talkative/conversationalist growing up. Though I've heard I still am not by a handfull of people now a days.
When I was younger, I didn't really converse much or want to with most indivisuals I wasn't related to. So most decided to label me with the "shy/quiet" stigma. And don't misconstrue as to why I was. It wasn't that I was afraid, it was that if I ain't know you well by any short measure...I just didn't feel comfirtable being open with you. There are others even some artists and celebrities(including some of your favorite movie stars and such) that are like that even up to today, despite how they act in their profession. But as the years went by, I had no choice but to be active with conversing with strangers if I were to advance and prosper to the point I'm at today. Especially concerning school, distant relatives and at the jobs I held down over the years, given how long I had work there.
I guess with those solitary, reserved yrs. I went through some, if not all that pented up feelings and frustration that came with some missed opportunities (some potential relationships, friendships...etc...) had to come out in some form.
The stigma place on me from an early age started to be lifted little by little as I became more social and progressive in my demanor with my voice and actions regaurding school and other public places....but shades of my past descretions of being the "shy one" came back in some ways. Which affected my learning proccess during my highschool years.(there were some long nights I stayed up, pondering why I was like this and couldn't jus do what seemed to be & look so simple to and for others around me) And though I never openly addmitted it to fam & the few friends I did have. I was in a session of depression. Some wondered what was going on with me...but few bothered to even ask.
I'm not sure if anyone else went through anything even similar to this...and alot of people may be thinking "suck it up and move on already!" but if you can't even phathom to understand what I went through and am talking about...then you don't and won't ever will. Its still not easy for me to understand why I do or did certain things I have done.
But I just think, like M.I.M.S. believes music is his savior....I happen to believe in P.I.M.S.(poetry is my savior) Because i can't begin to tell you what might have done, negatively within these past two and a 1/2 yrs if I hadn't fell knee deep into the art of spoken word poetry and started to realize that WHEN THE TRUTH SPEAKS...JUS LISTEN......
-honest Abe
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