The Top 10 reasons you shouldn't talk about how long someone takes in the bathroom (especially when they can hear you outside the door)

1. You should know better and...shut the F' up.

2. Do you got next...? If so, learn some damn patience!! especially if you just gotta pee!! Hold it damn it! And if you gotta weak bladder, and you a dude...get your stuff checked Mofo!

3. Do you even care...? I mean, how would you feel if someone did that to you or a relative of yours in a public place...? not so justifyable.

4.Who the hell are you to judge...? So it only took you what...5...10 mins. to bless the bowl and you were done. Just like that. You didn't take that long. So, what,now you want a f'n medal...?!

5. Did it ever occur to you that its not a smart idea to talk about this person doing they

do..do...especially when they can hear your ass right outside the damn door?! Numb nuts.

6. When was there a time limit put on how long a man/woman's bowel movements should last...? So you the parceling God I see.

7. I should leave the door open a little just out of spite to give you something to complain about.

8. I'm surprised you can't do nothing better with your time beside talk trash while someone is taking a Dukie...I don't know.....unless there is its the only toilet occupied and you have no choice but to...whats that word again..? Oh yea, WAIT!!

9. You have no idea what this person ate. Coulda been lasagna, with extra cheese, for lunch and beef stew for dinner, not to mention maybe bacon and eggs for breakfast. So this indivisual s could be really, UNLOADING something awful in that bowl.(a.k.a having the "Bubble Guts") So I dare you to go in there and try to get them off of there, with all your friggin complaining. I swear, I swear...you will regret it!!

10. If it was me, that you were talking about. And I know you and I know your voice. The next time I was in a room or vehicle alone with you....I'd lock all the doors. Make sure the AC is turned off. Any fans too if around. Close and lock all windows. And while in there with you, I'd say, "Remember that time you were talking about someone stinking up the place in the bathroom; and you didn't know or think they could hear you...? Well, that someone was, me!! And I heard every word you said." Then next, strap or tie you to a chair; cause I knew my bubble guts was coming because I chose what I ate, just for this moment...go right near your face and unleash, "THE SILENCER". Just let it marinate and engulf the room. While sticking around just to watch you suffer. And hey, I can stand the stench of my own stink.

Question is, can you....? LMAO!!!

Worse Case Scenario (wrong place, wrong time)

This afternoon, after dozing off late this morning. I had a dream. One of the worse case scenarios I'd never imagine being caught up in. Pissed me off and freaked me out at the same time!! Now, I'm type this from memory because I literally just awoke from it. So forgive me if the details are a little sketchy.

Was roaming outside. Its was either mid morn or early afternoon, I think.

Minding my own business. I believe I was somewhere in downtown Brooklyn or Mid town Manhattan. Felt like I was in BK....but anyway. Happened to walk near this thrift/dept. type discount store. And decided to go inside. WRONG MOVE. while I was window shopping/scouting anything I may want to buy on this visit, I noticed a brother in a wheel chair. Apparently crippled, key word, "apparently". With at least one female and a few other dudes around them. Chilling close to the entrance. When I was done perusing the store and decided nothing was worth purchasing today. Was on my way out. accidentally bumped into dude in the wheel chair, coming out the exit/entrance. He threatened me. (Don't recall what he said)

To some aspect, I apologized before things got heated, said it was my fault and was about to head on bout my business. When little did I know, these MoFo's had the police after them!! Because a shit load of patrol cars and vans started to flood this area. Immediately after that incident. And these individuals started to scatter like roaches in my apt. when the lights cut on. Remember when I told you the key word about the brother in the wheel chair, apparently crippled....well, as if the healing touch of God was set upon him, he got up out that chair, gunning it down the block like a bat out of hell!! I decided to started to rush my in a separate direction also. out of dodge of 5-O, (I think that term is still used to describe them now a days, anyway) cause you know in the hood, you guilty by suspicion and association. Despite how brief my convo was with that supposedly paraplegic brother, if they saw me talking to dude, they'd think I was with them. And what do you know, they started pursuit of me while I was hustling off.

I decided to keep it moving. Even though I knew I was innocent. Started having flash backs of the Chamillionaire video/track, "Hip hop Police". Knowing if they caught me, they would have a lot of questions I wouldn't, didn't and couldn't supply answers too. So I manage to find another store or storage area around town to lay low for a while. Little did I know after roaming in the back, around a lot of people, peeked outside the widow...only to already see two uniforms waiting outside. And noticed one had creped up in the area I was. I managed to slip my way out the spot. But guess what, not only to run into the same, fake cripple from the discount store earlier and his crew, but also the same uniformed cops that where in chase of all of us!! I said out loud with out hesitation , while being cuffed, "Ain't this bout a mother fucker!!"

Thinking to myself on the way and upon my arrival at the station, "How the fuck did I get caught up in this Bullshit today...?" Now at the station, was being roughed into the scanning and finger printing area, by this big ass (enter derogatory racial obscenity word here) that was all up on me!! grabbing on me. Taking my coat off when I was already starting to. Felt me up and shit, some was I felt was improper...and suspect....I was pleading my case of having nothing to do with those other hoodlums. But it fell on deaf ears. I felt like I was fucked either way, so I swung on his ass. And made contact. But before the dream took another turn for the worse, in my case....I woke up.

This was also another case when keeping it real goes wrong!! Damn!!