I Remember When... (Mama Nostalgia)

I Remember when...
I was barely 4.
And mama was on the phone a lot
by the window sill
with me playing on
the living room floor;
her talking to neighbors,
my aunties and uncles
bout daily rigormarole/gossip...
how daddy shoulda been around more
and when he went out in the morn
for groceries, not coming in till
ten at night
when the store was just around the corner... :-<

5 Years later...

I remember when...
I was about 9.
Used to take the bus with mama.
Running errands and visiting family friends around town;
while riding,
her with knitting needle and yawn...
when it came to crocheting...
no one could put it down better!!

3 Years later...

I remember when...
I was bout 12.
While playing B-ball with a friend after school
one afternoon in Jr. High,
outside on the court till it got dark.
Wasn't till he went home
I realized my 1/2 fair bus pass...
didn't have the other half for the bus.
So it got colder.
So cold, had to call mama
to come get me because
the piss was being frozen out of me.

1 Year later...

I remember when...
at 13 y/o, there was a time I wouldn't eat much.
Had a reverse tape worm appetite,
ribs were elbowing my stomach in a hunger fit...
But you knew what was to come from this neglect.
Side effect, I could barely walk around.
You brought me to the nearest ER
to get treated for severe dehydration...
giving me a wake up call just couldn't ignore;
And lesson learned, you saved me.

As I contined to grow,
older and wiser,
so did you.
Heeded your iodine advice and peroxide warnings;
preventing mental and emotional wounds you saw coming miles away.
Got my GED off the strength you believed in me
to be a better man in the making.

My point, for going down this lane of unlocked memories...
is to give thanks and show, no,
scrape the iceberg of cold winter nights(No HEAT),
sleeping on couch cushions as pillows, only peanut butter and jelly,
a loaf of bread to eat,
broke fridge but never let me go hungry love in return!

This piece is the peace in my heart!
With your caribbean blood in my veins keeping it pumping.
The footprints of your legacy in the flesh
that will carry this mama nostalgia to your future decendants;
Discipline them with the aura of your tongue!
I shall never forget, the times you've still say,
"Life ain't a bell of roses"
I understand that better now a days as a man.
Because if it was...
You would be the Mother nature of all gardens,
to learn, grow from...
THIS society needs!

© ”Honest Abe” Abraham Benjamin (Copyright 2012)

Affirmations from the Temple...

It has become clear to me that my road 2 redemption has been, and will be filled with expected and  many a unexpected side paths. History for me never fell short of becoming common reactions to my own premeditated karma moves. The power to succeed/fail from this point...has always been in my hands. I still fall short in many aspects at different points and time. And will continue to do so, since I'm human, far from perfect. A harsh reality. There are still more demons of my own making to conquer b4 solace comes...bruises on my soul are being tended to. I'm working on removing the word, "LOST" from the current dictionary of ME. But it hasn't fulfilled its purpose in the learning rubric God set up for me...yet. Pray for and with as more discoveries are "Unlocked" to see clearly the amazing grace of my existence.  #Living4prosperityandUnderstanding #AlmightyAintThruWitMeByAMile #Testimony

Sweet As(s)....(Inspired by Honey LaRochelle Live @ Blue Note) 7-14-12

*Disclaimer*: I wrote this on the way on late Saturday night of July 14th, 2012 after seeing  the delectable and gracious BK song bird, Honey LaRochelle Live at the Blue Note in NYC. *cues MJ's "The Way you make me Feel"* :)



You put a spell on me.
5'5 with brown eyes
Hazel/auburn coated hair sprung nubian flair.
Goddess curves that made my mind swerv into them...
from driving me crazy;

Shining in those stage lights
nector melanin,
glistening sweet as...
Honey...a name you've earned so well.

Tasted you in my thoughts b4 we ever met.
Drowned my ears on this Saturday night at the Blue Note
with a angelic vocal symphony of tunes to quench my soul!
As you repp'd our home town of BK with your own anthem. Mm!
Allowed me to drench...my eyes & nose with your essence
from your presence...
leaving me in a rare Euphoria I couldn't resist,
GOTDAMN!!

This wet day dream,
that isn't a dream by far
from meeting in the flesh...I swear...
gave me cavities on my poetic erect sweet tooth
and made a diabetic out of this mutha fucker on the spot...

Composure all shot
Heart beat felt the shock of our embrace,
it smiled inside me...
The aura tugging energy you glazed my person with
had a delayed effect aftershock
after the photo op
departing feet stopped in their tracks...b4 hitting the door;
Reminiscing from 5 mins ago when my name like an inmate escaped your lips.
Sounded just sweet as....Honey suckle sticky of that pucker tongue of Oshun melodies
that sung ancestor bones back to life with me;

Didin't wanna leave...
on some level felt you didn't want me to.
"where I wanna be" lyrics sang these shoes to the train station
As I entered, The Temptations, "The way you do the things you do"
Sound tracked summed up my night, internally fighting the urge
of Epiphany struck, to race back and plant a "soul Kiss" on you....

Entering this F train all that resonated was
how blessed I am to encounter such gifted woman
With more than thoughts of just wanting to bone
worth more than this brotha's bone
made me pull pen and paper out to right this poem
on the ride home,
almost missed my stop day dreaming of us alone together...
Whether I'll have the pleasure of another encounter
is something will just be pondering
open my front door chuckling...to remember
like a summer day that's forever sunny
this night, you in combs of my mind will be
Sweet As...Honey...

Me & Honey after the show (was "Crushing Hard" as my friend Shanelle Gabrielle would say)

Abraham "Honest Abe" Benjamin

Copyright © 2012

Brooklyn's Lost Son's Unlocked Thoughts BK discount deal

 

NaPoWriMo 2/30 The Healing

It started with a cough....
like most cases of sickness that burn through brown skins from within.
The copper tone of bullet chills and Cat claw rakes my throat with soreness,
makes swallowing harder then an olympic record to beat.
Bitter sweet really I have to choke on.

Losing my ability to speak on some level was comforting.
Having everyone and they mama getting at me trying to force a response...
My waiter voice just couldn't serve their demanding restaurant conversation.
The retching left a unholy salty taste in my mouth that seemed all to familiar.
Like being struck by lighting twice in the same spot.
stomach boiling the unsanitary notions of health deferred with no turning back.

My head, chest, arms and legs felt branded with an iron on the wrong fabric setting.
So hot yet cold as winter snow.
And the beat goes on....
of an unsteady heart rhythm
this is not normal.
No, this is not normal.
Was it something I ate, drink, or hand I shook.
A surface I touched germ solicited mind going on and on like the babbling Brook on riddlin.

Forgot to follow these guidelines of health.
So now could I be paying the ultimate price...?
I think Thrice bout the things I could've done different in my life.
But still with no regrets.
What woman I didn't treat right enough or birthdays I forgot
This is a shot of reality given by Dr. Life.
The bill will be the death certificate and receipt my toe tag.
But maybe its paronoia exaggeration on my part.

I mean it wounsld suck unwashed monkey balls to go this way.
The healing I'm looking for could come before I know it
Heard in passing convo my mom saying a stomach virus going around.
So simple home remedies could do the trick...
Then I started getting dizzy on the way to the bathroom with a crick in my walk.
Managed to shut the door and b4 I knew it...
more than have of what was consumed during the day was on the floor. smh.
And that was the first round.
After I sat down for a minute,
My gut and my head where in a fight to the finish.

No, did not consume any alcohol in the past 72 hrs.
Just felt an urgency to find the answer to this case in the current 24, Jack Bour.
Always felt like Wolverine from the X-men growing up.
Whether a minor or major injury, the Healing would be almost instant.
Though when it came to my heart, that factor was resistant.
I find it intriguing that some sudden ailments and illness would reveal all this.

Found myself somehow being able to write this monologue of mental misery.
Physically broken down temporarily but never fully broken
Considering my health plight one of God's tough love tokens to become stronger on this ride.
While residing in staggering thoughts of love, live, struggle, strife...

The Healing only comes when you decide to make it come..for you.
Without hesitation...
The precipitation of content will rain down on me like SWV.
soaking into the future I'll determine.
Hit ya in ya chest like a shot of burbon, wit no ice.
Then the truth shines
Say to yourself, "Vicotry will be mine!"
Just know that an iodine of words and actions can heal all wounds...from the right person.




Abraham "Honest Abe" Benjamin
© 2012

NaPoWriMo 1~30- 4 Bidden Fruits

I'm off my rocker....

after having wet day dreams of how I ROCKED her...world.

Until I can make that a reality to behold, my hand with out hers.

My side with out her, my bed with out her...essence to make it whole...just feels cold.

She, makes me feel wanted.

She, and those giving ways from far away has me taunted.

She, is so tempted to be mine and I vis versa.

She, if given the chance would be ready to run the gauntlet of love with I....

This woman,

with heart on a cautious pedestal...only for who is deserving.

This woman,

illuminating Oshun chakra shots to my soul's 3rd eye...

...forcing it to cry lava tears of phoenix humility and humbleness.

This Woman,

who has left chain letter-choker melodies of memories impossible for me to abandon on writer's block...

doesn't understand or realize shadow emotions are hard to shake over time!

You....a summary of this man's anthology greatest love of all deserving of a Goddess possessed within you.

You, the redefinition of imperfectly perfect

with hairless mounds between thighs

my lips need to engulf,

tasting strawberry chocolate bliss from the heavens to get lifted on....

You, the 1 of a kind, tantric arrow cupid ever made...

I've been waiting seemingly centuries for his ass to finally

target my damn chest;

So "My better half" can slip from these lips like tongues malesting nipples passionately.

The words "Sane" and "Pain" are one in the same when it comes to her.

With feelings inside

that trend more than Nicki Minaj's ass injections on twitter.

For some years now,

a Rapture of poetic symphonies laid dorment beautifully plaguing the ready to cross line

of air and opportunity...

in the back my mind a foundation

in her slave to love and happiness heart plantation needs residing with mine...ASAP.

So how can the gesture of pleasure be denied/ignored

when she not so subtly plants a bed of interest

in the garden under my nose to get a whif of what potential smells like..?

Tells me, my uniqueness and comforting characteristics

touched that torchured male terrorized faith in true love...

...and good men,

is slowly regaining justified hope to exist;

She also happens to be aware of

some overlining intrigue of pursuite from my direction as well.

This woman...Like B McKnight said, "My pride always gets in the way.."

I should have begged you to stay.

Flipped the script on me, playing role of Donell Jones in his song, "Where I wanna be".

Left me to see...what good could come from self focus, and notice like a chocolate Lotus flower grow to a desired peak.

Meek woman,

with soul stirring factor to make a man like mine's aura need crutches from our first encounter...

Since I know the energy exuding would be so fucking crippling and indulge in every second of it.

There has always been an age old adage that suggests

the combination of lover and friend,

usually form relationships with endurance of longevity...

You are the type of woman to make that sound like an understatement.

Just survey any man with pulse you give mental and physical hard-ons to try to prove me wrong.

I'm no angel by far,(and neither are you)

which is why you possess the thoughts to bring the Scorpio devil out of me.;)

Though I guess I can blame fate, for the question in my head of

why the current state of "WE" isn't in a future yet to see...?

Now, at this point...I'm confused.

Bruised beyond the fact of,

why God would give me such a proximity mine residing below my rib cage...?

Just like my mother birthing my vessel of flesh, didn't ask for this damn it!

Its suppose to be me and one other designed to have as lover, confidant, under covers, never put no one above her.

It's suppose to be when a brotha gives with reciprocal tendancies,

when she does in kind, Karmic complexities and complications shouldn't return!

It wasn't suppose to be This woman,

in this mortal komabat game of love...

Scorpion spearing my being magnetic pulling me to "COME HERE!!"

To get caught up in a relm of content that won't leave me alone to this day...

It wasn't suppose to be this bandit from BK,

taking a risk to open chambers to you,

unlock thoughts to you, make room 4u....

and still feel as lost on my road 2 redemption with contents under pressure...

I was born with...of empathy and genorocity that has become

a curse and a blessing like this gift of verse;

burdened...

What form of unholy pain in a pastlife of desired joy was caused for myself

wanting to taste these 4 Bidden Fruits laying on my chest's plate...?

Was Lauren Hill right when saying, "It could all be so simple...but you'd rather make it hard."?

And feels like it applies so well to this scenario.

Heart feeling like a greedy fat kid hoe,

With no dough to buy its freedom from such a love pimp situation

anguish mixed in the frustration, have no right to complain and

find some way to stay true.....

TO BE CONTINUED....

Copyright Abraham "Honest Abe" Benjamin 2012

All rights reserved

Pieces 4 Ur Heart

Pieces 4 Ur Heart

When it hits that thin line between late night and day break...

the next stanza of you is hard to start...

because in mind I'm with you,

but our bodies are apart so I hope these words connect the puzzle board of this growing love.

There comes a time in a mans life when he realizes games are for bedrooms and toys.

And Boyish tendencies only dis your Psyche.

So my agenda and mission, incite your mind with guarantees.

ignite your chakra with tantra's for dynasty lips to suck the legacy out my Ankh.

While I leave the shores of your Nile River soaked for generations to cum...and to come.

My words are the bonds I use to hold on to my sanity and lingering solace.

They massaging your heart and soul leaving a euphoric content inside

is a humbling bonus for me.

I can feel it...the clear residue of Carbon monoxide from my pupils.

My soul wants to get some air and stays scentless.

Rumbles of despair within the instinct part of my trifecta fears…

I want to love you new.

Love the inner beauty possessed but shown to the privileged few when

the door of opportunity to your hearts sanctuary is unlocked.

I'd must be shell shocked to have you believe and me conceive the notion that

I'm a poetic surgeon to help repair, and fulfill your needs...but I'll try.

Trust, this isn't AB trying to spit no game atchu...

my current mission is to polish the picture of a jewel inside your chest

and keep the frame around it from dope fiend leaning.

Since I've seen and know women, some friends, others ex's

who's aura me and other men have provoked, broke and damaged,

not delivering what they deserved right,

was blind to my neglecting ways even though

my vision is considered 20/20 in hindsight.

Just getting my mind right...on this road 2 redemption.

Like Vanessa, no man should have the power to crack your sunshine

via the mistrust and disgust of trifling brothers out there

That gives the rest of us a bad name.

But in regards of good ones...I can only speak for myself.

You know we all are far from perfect,

though I'd never want a Goddess like you to hang hopeful happiness on the shelf.

So, lets agree to say love and content solace together is all about perspective.

And if its believed you've had your "Final Fantasy"

Then every blow taking from this point on will be supper effective to your B.S. proof intuition.

After hearing these words, know that their adhesive from my lips,

was not only spoken to keep your equilibrium of faith in love...

together by the half or part,

just an offering of pieces 4 UR Heart.

Abraham Benjamin a.k.a. “Honest Abe” [© 2012]